Devestated,Miserable,Lost..
BEWARE,THIS IS GONNA BE A WORDY POST. DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU HATE TO READ WORDS.
IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU DROWSY. THANKS.


" i wish to be alone "

Was enrolled into Digital Media Effect course in Ang Mo Kio campus.
But i don't wanna study there.
Is not that im not interested in it.
Is i mind the distance.
Imagine i've to travel for bout 1hr plus everyday to Ang mo kio campus for lessons frm my hse?
i quess by the i reach there, im already half-dead man.
where will i still have e energy to carry on with the lessons?.
i knw i knw, many told me if i'm really interested in the course, i won't mind the distance.
But.. but.. u people won't understand de luhs.
i tried to appeal for Business Studies, but it's still unsucessful!
im really devestated.
my interest is in businees studies & yet i can't get in.
i'm still left with one last chance to appeal for another course in nitec.
but e vacany left are only those electronice courses.
in the meantime, i did appeal for h.nitec courses, one in Dover, the other in Clementi.
But i still nid to wait, perhaps in late Mar or Apr to see if there's still vacancy left for me.
Do i still have hope?
wait wait wait & WAIT!
i'm gg bersek already.
well, i can only blame myself.
who ask me didn't study well in the first place?
im really feeling so lost & helpless.
i'm also thinking of study private.
argh, i don't know luhs.

people, please give tell me your opinion.
i need advices.
do it thru this voting, thanks.

what should i do instead?
	study digital media effect course in ang mo kio
	or appeal for another nitec course instead? e.g electronics
	don't give up hope , wait for appeal results for higher nitec courses
	study private?
Free polls from Pollhost.com

regardinq him,
i really don't know what to say.
i have already done what a friend should do.
from ytd incident, i quess i know which position i stood in his heart.
i'm tired of takinq the initiative first.
when i really care about you, you seems to be taking it for granted.
ask urself, have you really cared bout hw am i doing all this while as a fren?
to you, what's the definition of friend?
everythinqs needs two hands to clap, be it relationships or friendships.
i, alone, can't maintain the friendship myself.
u get what i mean?
if you want our friendship to stay like this, drifting apart & apart from each other each day,
i'll fufil you.
cus' IM DAMNS F.TIRED of everythinq!
sick of dropping tears just for you.

end here,
gonna hit my blankets now.
im tired.

i really don't know what the hell is wrong with you.
once aqns, i took the initiative to call you up to show some concern.
but you were busy-inq with ur game.
alright, fine.
frm now on, i won't even bother bout u anymore.
what kinda of a fren am i to u?
or perhaps i'm still not even a friend to you bah.
forqet it, i hate it when my tears drop down once agn for you!
can you just don't neglect people ard you who cares bout you no matter how busy you are??!
you've changed totally!
no lonqer the one whom i knew anymore.
i miss ur lame craps, lame jokes.
where are they?

do you know there's someone here who's caring about you all e time?
worrying about you, thinking how have you been this few days?
do you realised?
i don't think so.
nvm, forget it.
you don't understand.
& i know you won't be reading my blog as well.
bye.

arggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!

Continued..

As i've promised .. qonna continued bloqqing in e next post.
& here it qoes.
supposed to be continued workinq as a data entry cum admin this whole wk.
BUT.. that stupid f.company say they only use me to work for one wk only.
which means my contract with them is only f.ONE WK only luhs!!!
F.them. then why in the first place told my aqent that they gonna need me in their company for bout 1-2mths??!!
&their reasons for using me only for 1wk is b'cus they dun have anymore workloads for me already. -.-
what good reasons they had.
then in the first place don't hire me luh since ur company dun have anythin for me to do.
i'm really v.anqry luh, i still wanna earn moreee money.
anybody got any jobs to intro?.

enouqh bout the job thinqqy.

way bac then
...
...
if i rmb correctly, i meet my with huili bestie.
its a las mins decision, acc her to town to qet her pay.
then headed to buqis for shopppin sessions.
we each bouqht ourselves a dress & tees. yipee!
i love shoppinq with my bestie luhs, meet up real soon alrights?.
then acc her bac to jp to meet her bro & her cousins.
they dine in at pizza hut, but i didn't eat.
jus acc them for awhile & i left for home.
& so coincidence, we saw soon fanq with her grp of friends.
that day was her b'dae.

alriqht gonna end with photos with my bestie.











bye people ((:

0verdue rants.

hellos to all readers ((:
finallyyy i found the time to blog !.
xueli is a v.busy girl, you seee!
don't really rmb what i really did the past few days.
but i'm qonna rant randomly .

Rewinding ...
i - forgot - when , i met up with my girls namely CATHERINEsis, SEETHENGsis & yulinq.
its been so lonq since i last met them, &i really miss them like hell luhs.
it was a v.last mins decision, i met up wif yulinq first.
had a chit-chat sessions with her first while waitin for e two ladys to arrived.
then we went to sakae sushi to eat buffet for dinner.
the followings photos are all e food we had, so don't drool. heh.










LOL. my cat bao bao still really believes what this signs says.
LMAOS!.




strawberry is teh love of mi & seetheng ((:


ice cream mkes me HAPPY ~

oh god, i quess im e one droolinq nw upon seeing e pics of e food. heh.
e sad things is b'cus we were all too full, too lazy already ...
i didn't managed to take PHOTOS with my GIRLS!!! ROARS!! -.-
nvm, hope there'll be chances aqns.
anyway, thanks girl for the wonderful day.
i really enjoy e times spent wif u ppl that day.
meet up soon aqns alrights!

...
...
...

then e next day, a grp of ppl came to my house to have steamboat for dinner.
they'r seethenq, yulinq, joshua, wilson lee, peiyu & my dearest xinyiGIRLFRIEND. ((:

so sad, my catbaobao wasn't here.
my moma misses her presence too. heh heh.




snapshot of them.


my dearest xinyi girl came with this lil presents for me.


& e sweet letter which warms my heart.

thanks girlfriend! <3
loves ya many many. hope to see ya ard soon.
im really sorry if that day i neqlect u aside , really sorry .
meet up soon when u'r free for me ba.

...
...

i shall rant till here.
my hands r tired.
qonna save e rest for tml ~

so stay tuned.

...

I MISS YOU , r u aware of it ?
i doubt so.

Dear readers,
xueli will be mia-inq (:
will be bac for blogginq asap.

moody.

been feeling moody this few days, but i hide up all my feelings in order not to let ppl around me worried.
sorry for those dates i turned down & ignoring sms.
sorry liyinq girl, for not answering ur calls today.
i jus dun feel like gg anywhere & wish to b alone, hope u understand.
im worried bout my future, worried bout the future im gonna walk next.
oh god, can u please lead me the way, im really lost.
the path other ppl am gonna walk is shorter than mine, no matter wad mine is always longer & slower than others.
i feel so afraid, afraid that im gonna walk & go thru everythin all alone.
this few days i find it so hard finding someone who i can really confide all my sorrows to.
everybody seems to be busy doing their things, i also don't wish to disturb anybody.
i've a person in mind to confide my sorrows to & that is him.
he seems to be busy-ing with work, i dare not ring him up to disturb.
we hardly really talk to each other, only he can cheer me up with his lame crap&jokes.
i do miss him, but i can't do anything.
i'm tired of being the one who is always taking the initiative first.
its just makes me feels so thick-skinned.
but there sure must be someone taking the first step to contact another.
but why can't you take the first step first sometimes?
what kinda of a friend am i to you?
why do i feel that im just those kinda of friend that when u need me to be there, then come & look for me, if u dun need, then jus throw me aside.
or perhaps im thinking too much?
if that isn't the case, prove me wrong then.
i'm really afraid that the friendship between us will drift apart, getting furthur & furthur. i really dun wish to.
im really tryin my best not to let this to happen, but im tired of trying.

i miss ur morning msq.

我真的很想你
如果现在开口 如何挽留
我还能撑多久

valentine day.



i woke up early in the morning at 7a.m, bath-ed & went out at 8am.
headed to ang mo kio campus for a interview & drawing test.
supposed to reached there at 9a.m, but i reached the place 1/2 an hr later.
i couldn't find my the way to the campus, luckily there'r helpful passerby help mi with the directions & all when i asked them.
i quess even if i could get through the digital media course, i also won't wanna travel there to study.
cus i'm really not familiar with the place there.
&i know v.clearly myself i can't get in to the course bahs.
i can't even produce the drawings that they wanted me to draw. -.-
sighs, forqet it.

everything ended ard almost 12plus.
i rushed home, bath-ed, get myself changed.
then headed to bugis to meet EUNICEYEO & PEIYU.
its been long long time since i last saw them ya.
&its really rare to meet euniceyeo.(:
talk about euniceyeo, can say she's the first friend i make & talk to during sec one?
though we seldom talk in school, but we still keep in contact on the phone.
whenever i've problems or needed someone to talk, i'll always ring her up.
she'll be there to let me e listening ear & givin me advice as well.
can say i consider her as one of my best friend.
this kinda of friend who's willing to listen sorrows all the time though we dun really hang out together, is really hard to find lahs.

accompany the two girls to settle their job's stuff, then travelled to orchard.
saw so many many couples, girls with bouquet of flowers.
wah laos, i also wans! roll eyes*
i keep tellin eunice, next time nv go out on valentine days wen u'r single.
then she keep laughin & say pretend that you never see anithin jiu can le. LOL.
while sms-ing with CATHERINEbaobao, she told me she was transfer to centrepoint to work, we decided to go look for her to give her a surprise since we'r nearby only.
she was damns shocked to see us & the expressions on her face can see that she's damns damns HAPPY!
that poor girl, worked 6days a week, sme days nid to work full-shift & only given one day OFF??!!
ohmygod, if i were she, i don't think i can survive lahs.
i miss you girl, hope to meet u up soon during ur off day ok.(:

we went shopping ard then headed bac to bugis cus the girls need to return their time-sheet to their aqent.
their aqent, ken, he's so funny lahs.
i keep laughinq at the way he speaks. LOL. so bad of me.
then we had yoshinoya for dinner.
chit-chat abit, shopped ard at bugis.
walked in to IP zone, eunice & i gonna buy e IP zone jacket.
then we went in to FOX as well, wow, their clothes damns nice but kinda EX.
saw a few clothes i want, gonna buy when im loaded agains. heh.
headed hme aft that.
its a rare opportunity to go out with eunice, so i suggested to tke photos!
but i didn't managed to took with peiyu. -.-

First try

un - SUCCESSFUL!

Second try

UN - sucessful too.

Third try

nah. NOT SUCESSFUL TOO!

we try lots of time.. till we pek-chek. lmaos.
then...
FINALLY!









euniceyeo is ♥ !
we promise to meet up again. Lala ~

i enjoy my valentine days with my girls.
though is not with him.
how did you people celebrate it?
hope everyone enjoy yours.

sorry for those dates i turned down.

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY TO ALL (:

in 2hrs time, its gonna be valentine day.
so i blog first, in case i got no time to blog tml.
i believe tml i'll see lots of couples on e street, girls having bouquet of flowers in their hands.
wow. envy!

well, i took e initiative & courage to ask him out tml, but seems like he's busy with work?. roll eyes*
sighs!
i feel that im damns thick-skinned le lahs.
but yet.. rejected. -.-
damns him. stupid uncle. haha.
nvm lahs. at least i took the initiative to ask le right?
at i least i did try.
valentine time days doesn't mean that it gotta be a day for couples.
it can be for friends as well.
i guess this year i gonna celebrate with friends bahs. saddening.

alright..
wish all couples en en ai ai & enjoy their days with their loves ones tml(:

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE !(:
thanks for all the wishes.
hope everybody enjoy this festival with ur family & friends.



had steamb0at for renioun dinner with my family jus now.
wow. ate till damns full lahs. hahas.
thanks mummy for e wonderful renioun dinner.
i'm leavinq for m'sia tml early in e morning to celebrate this festival with my relatives there.
will bloq till im back.
do miss mi peepos.
& peeps, everyone are warmly welcomed to visit my house for this festival.
PM me the time & date on when u'r visitinq.enjoy people!
im off to packinq up.

thank god for lettinq me to be able to get through him b4 i leave.
i miss him damns lots!

i miss u.
but so what. there's nothing i can do.

"so near yet so far"

tears drop down today simply cus of "YOU".
no words can really describe how i feel now.
me & "YOU" seems to be drifting furthur & furthur away.
why?
can't you sense tat there's someone over here missing u secretly?
why am i always the one taking e initiative first?
i know u'r currently busy working, but at e same time dun neglect e peeps ard u too.
i hate to be e one taking e initiative all the time.
sometimes i really wonder which postion am i standin as a fren in ur heart?
i really wonder..
god damn, im stuck with him.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH!!!
i feel like screamingggg out LOUD now like nobody business!
i need a shoulder now to cry on, would u lend mi urs?.


"carry a torch for someone is really a torture."

.................
.................


i may break down anytime.



bestie, take care of urself in m'sia.
im qonna miss u badly(:

random.



sup people(:
ii finally find e time to blog!
mama bought me a lappy!

1.02.08 friday

since my mama didn't work, i decided be mummy girl for e day & acc mama for shopping!
mama bought me a pair of heels & a dress.

thanks mama. (:
then in e evening, i went to meet my beloved HUILIbestie.
wait for her to off work at 0utram, waited for almost 1/2 an hr siia?
she felt v.guilty for lettin mi wait so long, mus punish her. hiak hiak**
its been almost a wk since e both of us meet up, miss bestie so muchh! LOL.
don't ask me why i didn't work wif together wif bestie tis time, cus there is no more vacany avaliable for me. T.T
then we headed to our destination for hair extension.
yes yes, i know my hair is already v.long le.
but i wan LONGGER HAIR!
& im still not content. heh.
reached hme bout 11 plus tat day.

2.o2.o8 sat

it's bestie time (:
bestie didn't work, so we decided to go BUGIS to do sme shopping!
&ppl, don't ever ever go BUGIS if u really wanna shop on a saturday.
bugis is crowded wif lots of people tat day man.
which really turns our shopping mood off,& e weather is gg against us too.
luckily bestie bring along her umbrella.

both of us bought this black shoes to suit our leggins.

&this black top as well.

wanted to grab hme more things but! NONO, cannot.
must save money already.
wah, chinese new yr can really mke our pocket really hab a big hole man!
aft which, bestie & i went bac to jp to buy sme stocks for comestics.
chit-chat awhile to do sme catchin up b4 we headed home.
well, aft we meet on sat, duno wen we will be meetin aqns.
cus bestie will be leavin for m'sia on tue.
&i'll be leavin on wed i supposed?.

well, today mama bought me a bag as well.
mama is naggin me for buying many many things each time i go out.
i need a job badly now.
any intro pls?

buddy, sorry for not being able to accompany you jus now.
hope u'r alright now.
don't think too much le, k?
do take care of urself.

alrights, endin off with my pics of me me me!
LOL!
im off to bed.


uncle, u'r busying workin nwadays.
&its been awhile since we last really chat.
hope we could really have some catchin up.
do take care of urself too. (: